People think living and working around the world is glamorous. Some of it is. And then there are the geckos.

You would think by now I could accept the less charming parts, the roaches as big as a small child, the netting around the bed, all of it. No. I could not then, and I cannot now. Creepy crawlers and reptilians; all bets are off.

Exhibit A

When I arrived in Sierra Leone to manage the Special Court's Court Management Section, I wanted to make a strong first impression.

I did. Just not the one I planned.

The court was guarded by Mongolian troops. On one of my first days, I opened my door, and there was a gecko. I screamed long enough that about ten soldiers came sprinting, ready for something serious.

It was a gecko.

They looked at me. I looked at them. Nobody said a word, because what was there to say. Then I got reprimanded. My boss told me I had caused a commotion over nothing.

Fair enough. Except it kept happening.

Exhibit B

Years later, Belize. My office, a trial is going on in the courtroom next door. I look up and there in the corner is a gecko. A big one, in my professional assessment. I screamed. People came running out of the courtroom. No reprimand this time, just a room full of side eye. Really, lady? All of that? For that?

The Worst One Had No Audience at All

It was the night we brought Charles Taylor into custody. One of the biggest days of my career. Everyone was upstairs celebrating, and I slipped down to shower before joining them. And there, in my bathroom, was a gecko.

This time, I decided to fight. I got a broom. I swung. It ran up the wall, and then, I still do not understand the physics of this, it landed on my head.

On my head! Everyone who knows me knows how I feel about geckos. This was too much.

I screamed loud enough to wake the building. Nobody heard me. They were all upstairs, having a good time.

Eventually, my roommate came down to see where I was and found me curled up on my bed, traumatized. I did make it upstairs. Late. But I made it.

Sierra Leone. Belize. Doesn't matter. Put me in a room with a gecko, and I am useless.

P.S. I looked it up. Geckos in West Africa can grow past 30 centimeters. I rest my case.

#25YearsIn